Skip to main content

Mucuous Monster

So I'm sick...and I have been since like last Monday. Not yesterday, but 8 days ago Monday. I have no idea where I caught this nasty cold, but it is lingering on - sort of like Celine Dion - it's flippin old by now, just go away.





To top it all off, I find myself in a sans facial tissue dilemma. I could use toilet paper, but then my already sore from blowing it every three seconds nose would become even more sore, and perhaps become so chaffed it gets scabby. I could just let my nose run and look like the wierd frog kid from Carpool in the scene where a huge snot bubble comes out his nose.

I could go home and grab a box of Kleenex, but if I'm gone when the ole boss lady gets back from her meeting, I'll probably have to face the music for leaving the office unattended.



So instead, I am reusing each used tissue as many times as I can without smearing the previously expelled mucuous all over my hands and face.



Maybe, however, this is not the real problem. The real problem is that no matter how much of the NyQuil or DayQuil I take, I still have a stuffed/runny nose, headache, and cough. I've come up with a coctail of swallowing the pills using the liquid version. I'm pretty sure I have about 8 times the legal limit in me right now. And I'm pretty sure I feel like my head is floating about 3 feet above my body - yet I still can't breathe. So much for $8 and the 15 minutes I spend filling out the forms at the HyVee pharmacy so I could get the meds without being suspected for making meth.


While I'm at it....I also can't taste anything. I could look at this as a good diet plan I suppose...but I'm just plain po'd. I like food and not being able to enjoy how it tastes sucks like a Hoover.


Crap. Now I feel guilty for complaining because it's the 50th anniversary of the day the music died. Someone always has it worse when I want to complain.

Comments

  1. I entirely approve of your medicinal habits.

    I never get sick...and one of the big reasons is NyQuil.

    Anytime I start to feel like I'm coming down with something, I drink like half a bottle of NyQuil and a six-pack of Coors Light. I wake up like 15 hours later and I feel better than ever before.

    ...'tis glorious!!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dolly Parton

It is a proven fact, and I can say this because I have officialy done the research, that when you are the designated driver (ie no more than a few drinks and none after 10 p.m.) that it takes twice as long to get to 2 a.m., and 2 a.m. is MUCH later than usual. Don't get me wrong, I had a blast dressed up as Dolly Parton. Blonde wig, tight jeans, high boots, significant clevage, got to budge in the karaoke line quite a few times....but there's something about sloppy, icky, drunk boys who think they're really hot getting all up on you that's different when you're not also sloppy drunk. Something, well, rather creepy. Something that makes me take a shower when I get home instead of clumsily falling into bed half clothed and waking up at 10 the next morning wondering what the hell that smell is then realizing it's me. I am all about being the dd once in a while....(and as Dolly, I get to be DD :)), and I really did have a blast with my pregnant nun friend and h...

Guilty Pleasures

Guilty Pleasure #1 Smarties Bubble Gum. They're sweet, a bit crumbly when you first put them in your mouth, and downright good. I don't actually chew the gum, I eat them one at a time so there's really not enough gum to chew it. I also sort them out and eat them in color order. It's not always the same order...sometimes I start with whichever color has the most, sometimes whichever color has the least. Sometimes I eat them based on my mood, saving the 'happy' ones for last so that I'm happy when I'm done. Although the taste alone is enough to put me in a dandy mood. (Side note: today was actually the first time I've ever had Smarties Bubble Gum, but they were so enjoyable I decided to make them a regular guilty pleasure) Guilty Pleasure #2 Cleaning carpets, upholstery and the like. I especially enjoy it when there's a spot and I can see the brown gunky water being sucked back up into the hose leaving a fresh, clean non-spotted floor or couch behi...

elves...gnomes....ghosts....

My bathroom curtains consist of a very light weight, white/almost see- thru , perpetually wrinkled (on purpose) chiffon curtain, behind two heavy linen brown side panels. I've recently noticed, that every time I go in to use the bathroom, that the left side of the chiffon curtain has somehow moved in front of the brown side curtain...a feat which perplexes me, as there is pretty much no way for it to move that far unless someone deliberately moves it. I've since concluded that one of three things must be moving the chiffon curtain in front of the linen curtain - elves, gnomes, or ghosts. Upon further observation, I've decided to rule out elves, as all the skilled elves I know are currently employed by Mr. Tom Kunkel at Kunkel Tire in Hartley, Iowa. And wile gnomes are quite crafty little beings, it's really not an appropriate time of year for them. They seem to enjoy hanging out in gardens and other green areas, and it's still technically a bit wintry out for t...