It is a proven fact, and I can say this because I have officialy done the research, that when you are the designated driver (ie no more than a few drinks and none after 10 p.m.) that it takes twice as long to get to 2 a.m., and 2 a.m. is MUCH later than usual.
Don't get me wrong, I had a blast dressed up as Dolly Parton. Blonde wig, tight jeans, high boots, significant clevage, got to budge in the karaoke line quite a few times....but there's something about sloppy, icky, drunk boys who think they're really hot getting all up on you that's different when you're not also sloppy drunk. Something, well, rather creepy. Something that makes me take a shower when I get home instead of clumsily falling into bed half clothed and waking up at 10 the next morning wondering what the hell that smell is then realizing it's me.
I am all about being the dd once in a while....(and as Dolly, I get to be DD :)), and I really did have a blast with my pregnant nun friend and her priest boyfriend and my other pirate friend and her flasher boyfriend....and I had an even bigger blast singing karaoke and knowing I was actually on key (because I was sober enough to hear myself).
And to end my wonderful night, I know everyone got home safe and sound, and I was left with the words ringing from the one not sloppy icky boy at the bar "Trish made me forget everything I believe in tonight....damn" ohhh those words boost my self esteem like no one could ever understand. :)
Alas, I bid thee farewell.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Glad I'm not THAT guy...
So I'm surfing the interwebs (as my dear friend Jeremiah would say, and I kinda like his smooth yet scruffy style, and therefore am going to imitate, which they say is the highest form of flattery, when it's not plagiarism that is)and I come across a story about a gentleman who at one point was riding high as the founder of what is supposedly the largest Internet gaming company in the world. He now however, is not doing so hot, due to undisclosed reasons that I can only assume include multiple inappropriate rendezvous with a certain "young, beautiful and naive" intern who thought having a relationship with the big man on top would move her up the totem pole but lied and said he forced her to do it when confronted...but like I said the reasons were undisclosed...so anyway, he's sold 75% of his stock and plans to sell the remaining 25% (hey, he can do math too!) in the near future.
Well, besides the likely mishaps that caused his demise, the poor schmuck probably only has a future career in dirty Internet pornographic endeavors, considering his name is Anurag Dikshit. On second thought, people probably finally came to the realization that they could not take anyone with the name "Mr. Dikshit" seriously and ousted him. Cause that's what I woulda done if I were there.
Well, besides the likely mishaps that caused his demise, the poor schmuck probably only has a future career in dirty Internet pornographic endeavors, considering his name is Anurag Dikshit. On second thought, people probably finally came to the realization that they could not take anyone with the name "Mr. Dikshit" seriously and ousted him. Cause that's what I woulda done if I were there.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
snow, seriously? I hate winter.
It has been 2 months and 3 days since I posted last. I suck at life.
But that's beside the point, because I'm posting now. And you know what is happening now, that sucks even more than me....it's snowing. It is October 10 and it's flipping snowing.
I don't really remember ever seeing summer, let alone going through fall and now all of a sudden it's winter. I am seriously not ok with that.
I should have been a Mexican. So I could live in the carribean part of Mexico, where it's warm all the time, and where cold is 60ish degrees. There's hurricanes and sharks and shit, but it's warm.
In other news....it's snowing. And it's seriously making me depressed.
That and it's 2:42 a.m. and I have this strange desire to clean out my closet. I pretty much feel like a lunatic at this point, but those 2 five hour energy shots I took are really working....quite well in fact....
I'm sure I'll be a little disgruteled in the "morning" when I want to go to bed but can't because I have stuff do to....but that's the price you pay for taking 2 five hour energy shots, at 11 p.m.
And since I'm seriously ADD'd out from all the caffeine and lack of sleep, I'm going to go find something productive to do...like clean my bathroom.
But that's beside the point, because I'm posting now. And you know what is happening now, that sucks even more than me....it's snowing. It is October 10 and it's flipping snowing.
I don't really remember ever seeing summer, let alone going through fall and now all of a sudden it's winter. I am seriously not ok with that.
I should have been a Mexican. So I could live in the carribean part of Mexico, where it's warm all the time, and where cold is 60ish degrees. There's hurricanes and sharks and shit, but it's warm.
In other news....it's snowing. And it's seriously making me depressed.
That and it's 2:42 a.m. and I have this strange desire to clean out my closet. I pretty much feel like a lunatic at this point, but those 2 five hour energy shots I took are really working....quite well in fact....
I'm sure I'll be a little disgruteled in the "morning" when I want to go to bed but can't because I have stuff do to....but that's the price you pay for taking 2 five hour energy shots, at 11 p.m.
And since I'm seriously ADD'd out from all the caffeine and lack of sleep, I'm going to go find something productive to do...like clean my bathroom.
Friday, August 7, 2009
Really? Chill out people
OH MY GOODNESS...the world might just end...what else could you possibly do without Twitter for one whole day?!
Seriously, I'm sick and tired of hearing about how some hacker shut down Twitter the other day because they wanted to stop one person's tweets.
It was one day people. You will survive one flipping day without tweeting about what you're doing or eating, or your political agenda.
Get over it, go outside or something, but for Jeebus' sake, STOP clogging the news headlines with stupid, boring, pointless articles about it!
Seriously, I'm sick and tired of hearing about how some hacker shut down Twitter the other day because they wanted to stop one person's tweets.
It was one day people. You will survive one flipping day without tweeting about what you're doing or eating, or your political agenda.
Get over it, go outside or something, but for Jeebus' sake, STOP clogging the news headlines with stupid, boring, pointless articles about it!
Monday, August 3, 2009
Customer Dis-service
It never ceases to amaze me how inconsiderate and/or un/mistrained and/or just plain stupid some people are.
My friend Nikki's kids had a birthday party this weekend. I asked Nikki what to get them, and we got to talking about how expensive the fancy birthday cakes are now-a-days. I had one of those moments where a light comes on and a chorus sings "AHHHAAA" in the background - I was trained how to make all those fancy cakes (and I did a pretty dang good job at it I might add) at Cold Stone...so to save Nikki money and avoid her headaches by giving her kids some lame toy, I offered to make them the cakes they wanted.
I know how to bake, but I remembered that we used frozen sheet cakes at Cold Stone and they worked really well because they're level and dense and yummy. So I called Grocery Store with a Bakery #1. I won't use names to protect the identity and reputation of the rest of the store, which I've not had an issue with in the past...just the bakery.
Bakery Kid: "uh, this is the bakery"
Me: "I'm looking for frozen sheet cakes"
Bakery Kid: "for what"
Me: "I'm having a birthday party and I want to make a theme cake that you don't have the license for, so I want to just by the cake part from you"
Bakery Kid: "so you just want the cake, like with no frosting or anything"
Me: "yeah, can I buy that?"
Bakery Kid: "let me check"
*overheard him asking another bakery person "this lady wants to buy just cake, can she do that?"
Other Bakery Person: "uh, I guess, like what kind"
Bakery Kid: "what kind do you want"
Me: "just white or yellow"
Bakery Kid: "ok, hang on"
*overheard him asking another bakery person "she just wants plain white cake"
Other Bakery Person: "well we don't have the frozen kind anymore, we make them here now"
Bakery Kid: "we don't have the frozen kind anymore, we make them here now"
Me: "that's fine, how much are they"
Bakery Kid: "$68"
Me: "$68 for just plain cake?!"
Bakery Kid: "yeah, well we have to charge you the full amount even if we don't spend time or use the stuff to decorate it"
Me: "ok, well let me check a couple other places and if I can't find what I'm looking for I'll call back" CLICK
yeah, like I'm going to call back, and pay $68 for plain freaking cake when for $2 I can buy a box mix and make one myself.
So, I make a phone call to Grocery Store with a Bakery #2:
Me: "Hi, I'm looking for a frozen sheet cake, just the cake. Do you have any that I can purchase?"
Bakery Lady: "Well we have them, but I can't sell it to you in case I need it for a cake order."
Me: "Well then can I place an order for a cake...one with no decorations, just the cake?"
Bakery Lady: "No, I need the cake for if someone places a cake order."
Me: "I just did place a cake order."
Bakery Lady: "No, you want just plain cake."
Me: "I'll pay the full price for it, but I just want plain cake."
Bakery Lady, obviously getting annoyed: "Look, I can't sell you just plain cake, ok."
Me, obviously more annoyed: "And I obviously won't be shopping in your store anymore since I can't place a cake order for cake." CLICK
I sorta fail to see why I can't place a cake order without frosting. I mean, you can order pizza without sauce or cheese or toppings and the pizza place will gladly take your money. Heck at Cold Stone we were trained to pretty much sell the shirt off our backs if someone wanted it.
So at this point, I'm getting a little irritated. So I hope that Grocery Store with a Bakery #3 can help me out:
Me: "I need a frozen sheet cake. Do you have them."
Bakery Man/Woman?: "I don't think we can sell just the cake."
Me: "Can I place a cake order then with just cake, no frosting or decorations?"
Bakery Man/Woman?: "Well think it's against our health rules or something to sell just cake."
Me: "I'm pretty sure it's not, I've worked in food service - making cakes to be specific - and if you can't sell me just the cake, why could you sell me the same cake but with frosting on it."
Bakery Man/Woman?: "Well, let me as the manager."
7 minutes later
Bakery Man/Woman?: "My manager isn't sure how we would charge you for it."
Me: "so does that mean I can't buy it?"
Bakery Man/Woman?: "Um, I guess so."
Me: CLICK
Ok...so I get the not being sure how to charge me for it - because obviously the full price for just the cake part is a little rediculous....but the rest...I just don't get it. How are these places staying in business by refusing to sell their products? HELLO, I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY!!!!
I am seriously going to have to become completly self sufficient or I might lose my mind.
OH...and for those of you who have worked retail before, and have had some unreasonable demands....I've been there! Believe me, I've put up with more than my share of stupid customers...but I can guarantee you, ordering plain cake, from a bakery, is NOT an unreasonable request!
My friend Nikki's kids had a birthday party this weekend. I asked Nikki what to get them, and we got to talking about how expensive the fancy birthday cakes are now-a-days. I had one of those moments where a light comes on and a chorus sings "AHHHAAA" in the background - I was trained how to make all those fancy cakes (and I did a pretty dang good job at it I might add) at Cold Stone...so to save Nikki money and avoid her headaches by giving her kids some lame toy, I offered to make them the cakes they wanted.
I know how to bake, but I remembered that we used frozen sheet cakes at Cold Stone and they worked really well because they're level and dense and yummy. So I called Grocery Store with a Bakery #1. I won't use names to protect the identity and reputation of the rest of the store, which I've not had an issue with in the past...just the bakery.
Bakery Kid: "uh, this is the bakery"
Me: "I'm looking for frozen sheet cakes"
Bakery Kid: "for what"
Me: "I'm having a birthday party and I want to make a theme cake that you don't have the license for, so I want to just by the cake part from you"
Bakery Kid: "so you just want the cake, like with no frosting or anything"
Me: "yeah, can I buy that?"
Bakery Kid: "let me check"
*overheard him asking another bakery person "this lady wants to buy just cake, can she do that?"
Other Bakery Person: "uh, I guess, like what kind"
Bakery Kid: "what kind do you want"
Me: "just white or yellow"
Bakery Kid: "ok, hang on"
*overheard him asking another bakery person "she just wants plain white cake"
Other Bakery Person: "well we don't have the frozen kind anymore, we make them here now"
Bakery Kid: "we don't have the frozen kind anymore, we make them here now"
Me: "that's fine, how much are they"
Bakery Kid: "$68"
Me: "$68 for just plain cake?!"
Bakery Kid: "yeah, well we have to charge you the full amount even if we don't spend time or use the stuff to decorate it"
Me: "ok, well let me check a couple other places and if I can't find what I'm looking for I'll call back" CLICK
yeah, like I'm going to call back, and pay $68 for plain freaking cake when for $2 I can buy a box mix and make one myself.
So, I make a phone call to Grocery Store with a Bakery #2:
Me: "Hi, I'm looking for a frozen sheet cake, just the cake. Do you have any that I can purchase?"
Bakery Lady: "Well we have them, but I can't sell it to you in case I need it for a cake order."
Me: "Well then can I place an order for a cake...one with no decorations, just the cake?"
Bakery Lady: "No, I need the cake for if someone places a cake order."
Me: "I just did place a cake order."
Bakery Lady: "No, you want just plain cake."
Me: "I'll pay the full price for it, but I just want plain cake."
Bakery Lady, obviously getting annoyed: "Look, I can't sell you just plain cake, ok."
Me, obviously more annoyed: "And I obviously won't be shopping in your store anymore since I can't place a cake order for cake." CLICK
I sorta fail to see why I can't place a cake order without frosting. I mean, you can order pizza without sauce or cheese or toppings and the pizza place will gladly take your money. Heck at Cold Stone we were trained to pretty much sell the shirt off our backs if someone wanted it.
So at this point, I'm getting a little irritated. So I hope that Grocery Store with a Bakery #3 can help me out:
Me: "I need a frozen sheet cake. Do you have them."
Bakery Man/Woman?: "I don't think we can sell just the cake."
Me: "Can I place a cake order then with just cake, no frosting or decorations?"
Bakery Man/Woman?: "Well think it's against our health rules or something to sell just cake."
Me: "I'm pretty sure it's not, I've worked in food service - making cakes to be specific - and if you can't sell me just the cake, why could you sell me the same cake but with frosting on it."
Bakery Man/Woman?: "Well, let me as the manager."
7 minutes later
Bakery Man/Woman?: "My manager isn't sure how we would charge you for it."
Me: "so does that mean I can't buy it?"
Bakery Man/Woman?: "Um, I guess so."
Me: CLICK
Ok...so I get the not being sure how to charge me for it - because obviously the full price for just the cake part is a little rediculous....but the rest...I just don't get it. How are these places staying in business by refusing to sell their products? HELLO, I'M TRYING TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY!!!!
I am seriously going to have to become completly self sufficient or I might lose my mind.
OH...and for those of you who have worked retail before, and have had some unreasonable demands....I've been there! Believe me, I've put up with more than my share of stupid customers...but I can guarantee you, ordering plain cake, from a bakery, is NOT an unreasonable request!
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