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Mucuous Monster

So I'm sick...and I have been since like last Monday. Not yesterday, but 8 days ago Monday. I have no idea where I caught this nasty cold, but it is lingering on - sort of like Celine Dion - it's flippin old by now, just go away.

To top it all off, I find myself in a sans facial tissue dilemma. I could use toilet paper, but then my already sore from blowing it every three seconds nose would become even more sore, and perhaps become so chaffed it gets scabby. I could just let my nose run and look like the wierd frog kid from Carpool in the scene where a huge snot bubble comes out his nose.

I could go home and grab a box of Kleenex, but if I'm gone when the ole boss lady gets back from her meeting, I'll probably have to face the music for leaving the office unattended.

So instead, I am reusing each used tissue as many times as I can without smearing the previously expelled mucuous all over my hands and face.

Maybe, however, this is not the real problem. The real problem is that no matter how much of the NyQuil or DayQuil I take, I still have a stuffed/runny nose, headache, and cough. I've come up with a coctail of swallowing the pills using the liquid version. I'm pretty sure I have about 8 times the legal limit in me right now. And I'm pretty sure I feel like my head is floating about 3 feet above my body - yet I still can't breathe. So much for $8 and the 15 minutes I spend filling out the forms at the HyVee pharmacy so I could get the meds without being suspected for making meth.

While I'm at it....I also can't taste anything. I could look at this as a good diet plan I suppose...but I'm just plain po'd. I like food and not being able to enjoy how it tastes sucks like a Hoover.

Crap. Now I feel guilty for complaining because it's the 50th anniversary of the day the music died. Someone always has it worse when I want to complain.


  1. I entirely approve of your medicinal habits.

    I never get sick...and one of the big reasons is NyQuil.

    Anytime I start to feel like I'm coming down with something, I drink like half a bottle of NyQuil and a six-pack of Coors Light. I wake up like 15 hours later and I feel better than ever before.

    ...'tis glorious!!


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